Home Depot run...
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes with a toe sticking through one of them.
Right in the middle of this project, you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age, you do one of the following:
In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt, and change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister of someone you went to school with.
In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat; wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty, so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The sexy, young thing running the register is your daughter's age, and you feel weird thinking she is sexy.
In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on. Wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror, and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it says, 'I Got Worms.'
In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the dog crap on your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not quite sure.
In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until they have your prescriptions ready at Walgreens. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The sweet, young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember that you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Home Depot and wander around for hours trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud, and look around because you think someone called out your name. You give up and go back home with a gallon of antifreeze -- in July.
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes with a toe sticking through one of them.
Right in the middle of this project, you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age, you do one of the following:
In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt, and change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister of someone you went to school with.
In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat; wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty, so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The sexy, young thing running the register is your daughter's age, and you feel weird thinking she is sexy.
In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on. Wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror, and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it says, 'I Got Worms.'
In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the dog crap on your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not quite sure.
In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until they have your prescriptions ready at Walgreens. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The sweet, young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember that you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Home Depot and wander around for hours trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud, and look around because you think someone called out your name. You give up and go back home with a gallon of antifreeze -- in July.