My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops
to breathe.
~Jimmy Durante
I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food
groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
~Alex Levine
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you
nothing. It was here first.
~Mark Twain
Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form
of misery.
~Spike Milligan
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
~Henny Youngman
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was "shut up".
~Joe Namath
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
~Herbert Henry Asquith
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my
nap.
~Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
~W.C. Fields
to breathe.
~Jimmy Durante
I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food
groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
~Alex Levine
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you
nothing. It was here first.
~Mark Twain
Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form
of misery.
~Spike Milligan
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
~Henny Youngman
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was "shut up".
~Joe Namath
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
~Herbert Henry Asquith
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my
nap.
~Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
~W.C. Fields